Difficult Week

March 2008

Mom has declined rapidly this week. Lung Cancer is EVIL. No one should have to suffer from it. She is comfortable and at peace and just waiting to go. Our family has all gathered to say our good-byes and to be together. It is so hard to watch all of this happen. I have been absorbed in her day to day care and haven't allowed myself to focus on the loss that is coming. It is probably a good thing, but I am sure that I will have some rough moments in the near future. I am brimming with emotion that I have to keep in check becasue mom doesn't want to cry. Crying closes off her airway and makes it hard for her to breathe at all. All of us who spend time with her are brave and calm at her house and then cry all the way home in the car. It is hard to exist that way, but it feel somewhat normal now. I'm not sure how we will adjust when we no longer ........Dad is doing fairly well. He tells her that she is still the most beautiful woman he has ever seen and kisses her. She is aware of what is going on, but often doesn't have the energy to force out any words. The are formed but soundless. We will carry on and continue our vigil and rely on the Lord to help us all endure.